Things I have learned from my dying patients

Things I have learned from my dying patients...

I have been a nurse for 9 years now, and all 9 of those years have been in the critical care setting. More recently, my job has allowed me the great honor of taking care of more patients at the end of their life. I say this is a great honor, because I have learn to appreciate the beauty that can exist in a peaceful and dignified death. For at the end, the individual loses their control and it is then up to me to provide the most seamless of transitions as possible.

Over the years, I have learned to really appreciate the conversations I have witheach one of my patients. They are vast wealths of knowledge and wisdom and often times provide the most thought provoking insight into life's biggest questions.  I have the unique privilege to have to the opportunity to learn from them. They teach me something new every single day. You may wonder why a post like this is appearing in a "health and wellness" type blog, but on my own journey to be the best I can be, I am also doing a lot of soul searching. I am not only working to improve on the outisde but on the inside as well. These life lessons I have learned from those at the end of their lives, are things I will carry with me and hopefully be able to teach my own children.





1. Spend time with your kids.

"The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children" – Elaine Heffner



This I am realizing more and more as I see how quickly my kids are growing. I can see the look in an older woman's eyes as she longs for the days of when her children were young again, and she wasn't facing the end of her own life. It saddens me to know that she longs for the days, but warms my heart to know that she looks back on her childrens' time growing up so fondly, and has memories to last her a lifetime.  As a mom, it is important for me to show my children how to live.  I don't want them to grow up not knowing how important it is to create memories with your family.  The take home message to is cherish the time with you children. Put your phone away, turn the TV off, and spend those precious moments with them.





2. Commit to your marriage.

Falling in love was simple; one had only to yield. Digesting another person, however, and sustaining love, was bloody work, and not a soft job.”
― Hanif Kureishi

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If you are married and reading this, we all know marriage is hard. It takes hard work, and committement. Everytime I have a patient, I ask them how long they have been married, and ask what is the secret to a long marriage. The most frequently common answer I get is: "You have to talk to each other. Without that you have nothing."  The next thing: "You have to be able to laugh at each other, and make the other laugh." "You have to want to be married. And you have to work at it."

One patient, mentioned to me one day that "people nowadays give up too easily." I sadly agreed with her, and lamented that the generation ahead of me will probably be one of the last to see marriages celebrate 50th & 60th wedding anniversaries.





3. Find humor in life.

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”
― Audrey Hepburn



If you can't laugh about life, life is going to be pretty boring. I have been told that more than once, and have been advised by many that maintaining a sense of humor is key to staying happy; even during the darkest of times. I have witnessed patients dealing facing incredible odds but they still manage to crack a joke here and there.

Even on some of their worst days, my patients are able to make jokes and find humor in small things. It really puts life into perspective. Here I am sitting next to this person, who's future is grim and life is short, and they are making me laugh. I really realize on these days that even though I may have my own problems in life (we all do of course), that if I can't laugh about things, life is not fun anymore.






4.  Things don't matter as much as time spent with people and relationships do.

“To be content with little is difficult; to be content with much, impossible.”
― Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach



Possessions provide you nothing when need someone to hold your hand, provide a shoulder for support or an ear to listen. The new TV or ipad you just purchased cannot give you a hug, hold your hand during another test, or sit next to you and help you understand what the doctor just told you. Sure, things are nice. I like things just as much as the next person, but my things won't be there for me 20 years down the road and I certainly cannot take them with when it's my time to leave this earth.  I have had conversations with people who lived during times when earnings were meager, and they were just barely getting by. But they look upon those times fondly, and often times proclaim those years to be some of the best of their lives. They may not have had much but they spent the time with their familes and made the memories.





5. Be compassionate.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
― Plato



Even if the person I am caring for at the end of their life was not the best person during their time, in my eyes they deserve compassion.  This is not a lesson that I have learned through conversations but through interactions with my patients over the years. It is not my place to judge them for their past misdeeds in life, but to be there to support them during the most trying and frightening time in their life. I will often ask the question,"Is there anyone we can for you?" When they reply, "No" my heart aches for them. I don't know what happened to them in their journey but I know I can make an impact on their life in whatever time he or she may have left.


In short; be kind to others, love often, laugh often, and enjoy your time spent with those around you and make memories.


These individuals I have encountered have been my greatest teachers on appreciating life, and letting the little things go. I have learned to enjoy spontaneous moments, and sometimes just let it be.  I have learned that dishes can wait when my kids just want to play or cuddle.


Skinny Pasta

Getting creative on my 21 Day Fix. I had a lot of whole wheat pasta on hand and spinach that was going to go bad so... Skinny Pasta~


Ingredients:
- Whole wheat pasta cooked (If following 21 Day Fix eating plan use one or two yellow containers of cooked pasta)
- Rainbow veggies (yellow, red & orange bell peppers, spinach, tomatoes, use 2 green containers for this)
- Garlic (fresh or garlic powder), pinch of salt, italian herbs, oregano, crushed red pepper if you like a little extra kick,
- 1 tablespoon of extra virin olive oil
- Precooked turkey meatballs thawed( I am all about the convenience factor here!)

Instructions:
-Prepare pasta according to box directions
-Dice all veggies, gather spinach and portion out veggies using green container
-Slice meatballs (you don't have to but it makes it seem like there is more meat)
-Place all ingredients in a skillet
-Add seasonings ( I use generous amounts of all because I enjoy bold flavors on my food)
-Add olive oil
-Simmer on medium heat until spinach is wilted some and veggies are slightly tender and meatballs
are heated appropriately


Total containers used: 2 yellow, 2 green, 1 red

ENJOY!!!!

How I am hoping my new adventure helps women gain confidence

It is NO secret that women in today's society are bombarded daily with images of unrealistic and unattainable beauty and physical standards. Photo shop has become a woman's worst nightmare, and can make a perfectly healthy, beautiful woman feel like the least desirable and least attractive woman on the face of the earth.

If you ask a woman what she would change about herself, most would probaby say they would change their body in some way so that they were beautiful. But how is beauty defined? It is a debated topic around the world, as different cultures have differing standards of beauty. And what one may consider beautiful and/or perfect in one culture may be deemed unattractive or negative in another.

The age old saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...is true. However, how do we help change cultural perspective of beauty? How do we get our women to realize just how beautiful and amazing they truly are? The answer is not a simple one because I would have to state that it starts at home with how we teach our daughters at a young age, how the media portrays women, and how our sons are taught to view and interact with women.  Disagree with me if you like, but that is just my opinion.

So where does my new adventure come into play you may ask?

Let me back track a little to tell you why this is important to me first....

Growing up I was never the skinny pretty girl. I was teased and mocked to a certain degree, never had the boyfriends or dates, and never felt beautiful. It's an all too familiar story that many women can probably relate to. I was told "you carrry your weight well"," you are cute"," you are good at sports", "you look better with makeup", and my personal favorite was when "meghan cantrell (my maiden name) is a lesbian was carved into a wooden desk at school (elementary school by the way). So my sexual orientation was even attacked at a very young age, and I didn't even really know what that meant for a while. So you see how over time, my perception of beauty has been skewed by some very unpleasant experiences. And I still struggle with it even to this day.

But one thing has changed.

My confidence.

It has not always been good, and honestly I struggle big time. Every single day. But one day a friend of mine asked me to do a Spartan Race with her, and I did. And I finished it with not nearly enough preparation, and I struggled through it but I finished. And the moment I finished, was the moment I realized that no matter how hard something is (and those are wicked hard), I am strong enough mentally and physically to endure and finish.

And then on top of that,  I found a new group of women all with similar struggles, similar family lives, busy schedules, all hoping to make a difference.

Voila! Things changed. Big time. It was magical. It was like an aha moment of mammoth proportions. And oh my lord I had to hit the ground running. Never I have ever been so motivated or inspired.

It was time to do something with this.

A new passion was discovered, and it was in the realization that I could maybe, just maybe do something with this. This could be my opportunity change women's lives in such a positive way and help alter their own skewed perceptions of beauty. I could empower women to gain self confidence in a way they have never experienced. I could work to help other mom's get through even their worst days. I could really help other moms communicate with their own daughters differently all because they have a renewed sense of self worth, thus empowering a whole other generation of future ass kicking women!

And guess what.... that is a big damn deal.

There are campaigns with major companies such as Dove and Always working to empower young girls and women, so I guess I think of this as more of a grassroots type movement so to speak, but if by some chance, I was able to make a difference on this level.....I just can't even. I mean really, I can't even imagine.

Now I know I am thinking big here but seriously think of the possibilities! Think of how many women's lives we could change EVERY SINGLE DAY! By motivating them, inspiring them, appreciating them exactly for who they are!  That is an awe inpsiring thought that by working with women to help them gain confidence & get healthier, they could walk around feeling proud, confident, and beautiful.  That thought alone makes this adventure completely worth it.  Every doubt I have, every fear I have, and every skeptical comment I receive makes me push harder just so I could do this.


It's pretty overwhelming to think of the bigger implications this could have but seriously, how cool is that?

Pretty cool.

xoxo,
Meghan

Real Life- My First Few Weeks as a Beachbody Coach

"Is this like one of those pyramid schemes", my husband asks me the first night I am finally brave enough to tell him what I have been up to.

"No I assure you it's not. But it could be a way for me to help our family more. Maybe it could be. I have no idea how this is going to go, but I am going to give it a try." My voice was nearly shaking trying to tell him I was venturing out into something different. He knew my new found love of the beachbody family was strong, but I don't think he expected me to do anything with it. And honestly I haven't really done much aside from A LOT of learning, A LOT of asking my coach questions, and A LOT of personal dvelopment. "Ya know," I tell him, "You could at least like my new facebook page and show your support for me."

"I don't really like sharing stuff like that because it gets annoying to people."

Fair enough.

So at that particular moment, my head was spinning and I was thinking, "OH SWEET LORD! He's right! I am bugging the crap out of people with my facebook/instagramming/twitter posts! Crap! Crap!" And let my embarrassment/fear/skepticism/doubt kick into overdrive.  I kept thinking about how nervous I was to begin with and this conversation certainly did not help.

Now what?

Should I just give up? Just let it go? My inner dialogue was intense, and so conflicting. Should I, shouldn't I? What if I just make people angry or annoyed with me? Well so what if I do, I'm trying to help people and there ain't nothing wrong with that. I am promoting a healthy lifestyle, and lord knows my chosen profession as shown there ain't nothing wrong with a healthy lifestyle! So why am I having such a difficult time with this?

Well, I decided that I was not going to let that moment keep me from at least trying. So I pushed past my doubt and fear and kept on posting and connecting with people in my life.  And that part continues to feel amazing.

And then I noticed that even though I had not really accomplished anything as a beachbody coach, something was happening.  People were starting to already make small little changes, and get excited about getting healthier. And they wanted my advice, and my help! And I knew that my desire to be a coach to begin with was more than potentially helping my family financially but I am actually making a difference in people's lives, already. Just by communicating with them and letting them know that someone really does care about their wellbeing.

THIS IS WHY I AM DOING THIS.

I could not help but walk around all day smiling. Grinning ear to ear, I walked around knowing that I am putting a serious passion for helping people into good use and in a different way than I am used to. Often times, as a critical care nurse, I am meeting people for the first time when I have to help sedate them for a breathing tube, prepare them for end of life, or explain to a family that their loved one may never wake up again. And while I take great pride in my job as a nurse, I have always taken pride in being able to help people in their day to day lives as well. I want to make a difference, and I think this world is a better place when people are overall happier and working towards improving themselves.

And as I stated I LOVE BEING A NURSE, but I have always wanted an opportunity to help in a bigger and better way! So no matter where this new adventure takes me I will always and forever be a nurse at heart, and my compassion and desire to do good in this world is strong, so now its time to do bigger things in order to accomplish bigger goals.

THIS IS WHY I AM DOING THIS.

I will be honest, I have not made one cent from my short time as a Beachbody coach and thats ok. And that's the truth! Seriously, nada!  I am new to learning how to run a business, and as with anything I suspect time is my greatest ally. I can, however, lay my head on my pillow tonight knowing I am one step closer to achieving my dream of making this world a better place, one person at a time.

So for now, I will put my fears aside and continue to set goals to help as many people as I can. I am scared, and certainly have my doubts but I am pushing beyond those fears and doubts, DREAMING BIG and being proud of my decision to join the Beachbody Family!

If you want to join my team and DREAM BIG with me contact me for more information to get started!


xoxo,
Meghan

Choosing to make myself a priority

It is not easy for a mom to say, " I need time alone."


It is not easy for me to admit that AT ALL.

Setting aside time while we are all running around super busy and multitasking away, we often times get caught up and forget to set aside some time to reconnect with the one person we know we can truly count on...our self.

There is no one else that is going to get you through this life, make a difference, or work to make sure you are taken care of. It is all up to the individual. When we spend too much time focusing on everything else and forget to make ourselves a priority other areas in our life can suffer as well.  Our families, jobs, friends, hobbies, our mental and physical well being...all pay the price for our lack of self care over a long period of time.

How do we fix it?

Well it certainly isn't easy but it is certainly necessary. I have found that personally, I function much better for my kids, my husband and my job when I actually set aside some time every day to focus on myself. I am currently doing this in the form of dedicating at least 30 minutes per day to workouts and often times meal prep for myself as well. I am reaping the benefits of my hard work and seeing results that are pushing me further but also helping me to be more focused and more motivated than ever.

My family is also seeing the effects as well.  My kids see a mom who is happier and more energetic, my husband sees a wife who has found something that makes her happy and sees more smiles on my face, and my job sees someone who is more motivated and working harder every day.

It is time for you to make yourself a priority. It does a body and a mind good.

Do yourself a favor and set a goal to dedicate some time to yourself each day. Write down how it felt to take that time, and focus on YOU. Try to do this for 21 days and maybe you have established a new routine for yourself that will have a compound effect over time.

Besides, don't you deserve to take care of yourself?



xoxo,
Meghan

Thoughtful Thursday Series: Episode 1: Why are moms so mean to one another?

Ok so I know that if you are not a parent this one may be a little difficult for you to relate to but seriously....

Why are moms so mean to one another?

 

 I mean we get judged for every single decision we make by some random woman who thinks she has the right to pass judgment upon us? And why do we allow them to have power over us and make us feel as if we are somehow less that adequate because we parent our children differently?

 

 I was scrolling through my Facebook feed a few weeks back and read an article about the form of "mom shaming". People would take random pictures of someone (most likely a mom who had no idea a photo was being taken of her) and it would then be posted to social media without this person's consent. I mean seriously when did this become ok?? It apparently isn't enough that we are judged for not breastfeeding, failing at childbirth because we had a C-section (and who really fails at childbirth; that crap is hard work), because we choose to co-sleep versus sleep train, opt for extended breastfeeding in a society that has yet to "normalize the boob", feed our kids fast food, or dare to allow them to watch TV...and this list could go on and on and on and on... but now we unwittingly have completely strangers take photos of us to mock us or pass judgment upon us? Look I may not agree with everyone around me, but one thing I know for sure that unless that mom is abusing/neglecting/harming her child in someway, she is most likely struggling everyday to do the best she can to raise a productive and decent member of society.

 

When did it become our job to make other people feel bad about themselves? This parenting thing is hard enough without others going out of their way to make us feel terrible about decisions that we have most likely already agonized over already.  It is not my place to tell a mother she can't nurse her child until he or she self weans, or that one discipline technique is more effective than another.  So next time you see a mom with the toddler throwing a tantrum realize that all kids do that...even yours (Yes I said that) and that she is not a failure because she cannot control her child. You may not realize that she is struggling with learning her perfect baby has just been diagnosed as autistic or may have a developmental issue that makes it difficult to control emotions.  You may not realize that she has been up all night making sure her other child was breathing all night because they are at home hooked up to a bunch of medical equipment and she is just having a bad day. You may not realize that the mom you just snapped a candid photo of to post on social media with the caption "WTF? Can't this woman get it together?" just spent the last 20 minutes crying in the bathroom because she is overwhelmed or may have just received a phone call that her father is in the hospital with a serious illness.

And it's not only mom shaming for parenting styles, it's now mom shaming because we don't bounce back after baby "like we are supposed to." I mean didn't your weight just melt off while breastfeeding? Mine sure didn't because I was hungrier while breastfeeding than when I was pregnant! And when I say hungry, I mean like can't get satisfied from just one burger kinda hangry.  Women shame other women for her stretch marks, baby pooch, and saggy boobs but seriously what does that accomplish? Absolutely nothing positive, and in fact could be causing lifelong psychological damage to a woman who does not cope with life well.  So next time you see a brave mom, rockin the two piece at the pool, pay her a compliment or tell her children are beautiful so she doesn't have to walk around worrying that you are the one thinking bad of her. 

The moral of the story is: Be kind. Be considerate. Be mindful and aware of your surroundings. Educate yourself to realize the world is much bigger than you and that each person has a unique set of struggles and circumstances that she is dealing with. Be kind. Be compassionate. Instead of having a judgmental thought in your head when you see a mom losing it in the store, offer her support. Ask if you can help with her bags, hold the door for her, pay her a random compliment, say hello or just smile and acknowledge her and in that moment she may not feel alone.  Don't be the one who is responsible for making someone else feel bad or guilty... we do that enough on our own.

 



 

 

Do yourself a favor, and get rid of the negative in your life. Unplug from technology (make this part of your daily routine so you are not bombarded with article after article telling you how much you suck at mothering your little ones), unfriend/un-follow a few nasty mean spirited folk, and gather people in your social circle that are just as awesome as you are and revel in the fact that you are doing the best damn job you can raising your kids.

Until next week....

xoxo,

Meghan

Comments? Share below and let's discuss this topic some more!!

What got me going?

Yep so you know how everyone has that "aha" moment? Well I had mine this past summer. Realizing that I was and am capable of so much more and that if I don't do something about it now I am just wasting precious time was a BIG DEAL.  What changed you ask? Let me tell you...

My daughter was about to turn one, and I was still stuck battling the baby weight and feeling miserable and sorry for myself.  So one day at work, I made the executive decision to go online and purchase an at home workout program, Focus T25.  I decided that even I could commit 25 minutes a day to exercise, and I decided that I would take the first step in buckling down on my nutrition and I ordered my first bag of Shakeology.  It was expensive, and I thought my husband would flip his lid if he knew how much I was about to spend on this, so I did not say anything. I just ordered it, and considered it an investment in myself (which was something I was really slacking on at the time). I got the progam in the mail and my chocolate shakeology and dove in head first.  I was waking up early before work (4am) and getting my 25 minutes of intense exercise in and started drinking my shakes. Now I'm not going to lie, I was not enjoying the effects of the shakes at first but in time I really started noticing differences. The weirdest was that my skin was changing and not breaking out as much, and I just felt better. So I kept going with the shakes and before long the GI side effects from the shakes stopped (THANK GOODNESS).

 I continued with my workouts but still wasn't seeing results. So I contacted someone I found through beachbody, my free coach and asked her for help. Deidra Penrose. This woman had a similar background and a rockin body that she worked damn hard for and realized that if she could do it, so can I.  So I very nervously contacted her, and she asked me to join her upcoming challenge group for the 21 Day Fix. And so I did...

I ordered the program (and in the process paid the coach fee thinking maybe I could learn to work the business at some point), and soon enough the beautiful box arrived on my doorstep just in time to start the challenge group. And let me tell you this is where things changed...

Every.single.day. I was held accountable for my food intake, water consumption, exercise and shakes. Every.single.day. I had someone cheering me on. Every.single.day. I had a group of like minded individuals working towards similar goals and leading similar lives working through their own issues in life. Every.single.day. I had a goal to work towards. It was amazing!

I realized very quickly that something magical was happening.

I was finally finding a place where I belonged.

Not to mention this whole time, I was trying to rapidly prepare for my first Spartan Race with my friend (who was also and contines to be a great sourse of inspiration and motivation). So my motivation was high, and remains high.

I FINALLY finished something I had started. I finished the challenge group and decided that I had seen such a change in myself both physically and mentally that I wanted to keep going.

Seriously when they say that it takes 21 days to change habits there is some truth to it but it also helps when you have an amazing group of women to draw strength from. My confidence is soaring (well at least compared to what I was at previously), my determination is strong, and my body feels like it is on its way to being what I once only dreamed it could be.

I have a long way to go, but I have my very first challenge group to thank for getting my mind in the right place.  My husband is seeing a happier and more fulfilled wife, and my kids are seeing a mom who works hard to set a good example for them on a daily basis. And to think, all this happened in such a short time, I am beyond excited to see what happens in the future.

Thank you Deidra. Even though what you did may seem small, you have done your job of changing another life.

Got anxiety?

Got anxiety? Sure we all have anxiety at one time or another...that new job we just got, the baby on the way, money stressors...everything we do in life can cause anxiety for us. But what do we do when that anxiety starts to occur more frequently? What do we do when we find ourselves becoming crippled by anxiety on a daily basis?

I have always been an anxious person or a "worry wart". But it was not until recently that I discovered just how much it is affecting my on a daily basis. With the birth of my daughter, life seemd to come hurling down on top of me and things were happening at such a rapid pace I could not seem to keep up. I felt it piling up, becoming heavier and heavier and then realized I needed to do something about it. So I started small, learning to let certain things go, taking a few minutes to just be alone and regroup but eventually found myself having a full blown panic attack at work. Not good right? Nope not at all. I recognized what was happening and immediately recognized that I had to take drastic action to get this under control. Now, I am a nurse but I am not a mental health specialist. By forcing myself to become more aware of what my triggers are and what helps I have been able to come up with a list of things that help me cope with my own personal anxiety. I hope some of these can help you, if you to suffer from anxiety or are a "worry wart" too.

 

 

Meghan's Ten Tips to Battle Anxiety

 

1. Eat healthier.

 

Oddly enough some of my anxiety stems from my lack of healthy lifestyle. I have enourmous food guilt when I eat things that are "less than desireable" so the one thing that makes me feel better about this is ..... Tada... Eating healthier. I joined a challenge group that forced me to examine my eating habits and realizing just how bad they were I made some big changes. And now, if I deviate from my healthy eating plan I notice.

 

2. Exercise.

 

Seems obvious huh? Well let me tell you, the feeling I get from having a good sweat session is amazing. It helps me feel more focused, energized, accomplished and strong. To go along with #1, this is part of living a healthier lifestyle. Physical acitivty, even just 30 minutes a day, can do wonders for one's mood and outlook on life. And not to mention helping shed those unwanted inches and pounds...another source of anxiety for me.

 

 

3. Practice Deep Breathing.

 

My mantra is "IN 1-2-3, and OUT 1-2-3". It slows evertything down and allows me to take a quick mental vacation from whatever chaos I'm surrounded by at the moment.  It's no secret that yoga utilizes breathing techniques to help relieve stress as well as meditation. Now, I am not a committed yogi or nor am I committed to daily meditation, but deep breathing works! I use this for my patients who have anxiety attacks along with imagery to help take them down a few levels. It doesn't always work but it helps.

 

4.  Make a list, and prioritize that list.

 

As parents, we face daunting to do lists. They are in fact never ending lists that seem to go on and on and on....well you get the idea. But there are some things on those lists that JUST DON'T MATTER.  Repeat that,  the "JUST DONT' MATTER."  Sure you  need to have clean clothes and dishes but do you have clean your base boards on a weekly basis? Nope sure don't. Often times I find that sheer act of trying to balance all the responsibilities of being a working mom send me into a hulk like mom rage and ultimately my anxiety and stress shoot through the roof and my family end up paying the price for that. So I make lists. These lists let me literally sort of out what needs to be done and what can wait. Sometimes the things that are on the "do later" list get done and sometimes they don't. But you know what, I ultimately did not panic because my toilet didn't get cleaned last Tuesday.

 

5.  Find a hobby.

 

Yes I said it. Find a hobby. Something you enjoy doing, and honestly it doesn't matter what it is but find something. I've realized over the years that losing myself to my kids and life did not make me a better mom, it just made me a mom who didn't know herself anymore and didn't find joy in anything. And that's a hard thing to admit, but I admitted it nonetheless. So find something you enjoy doing. An activity that makes you smile, gives you goals, allows you to interact with actual grownups outside of work...you know something fun. I discovered that I really really enjoy playing with and learning how to do makeup. I dove head first. I got excited about it, and found myself facinated with it. Now I am incorporating my health lifestyle habits in my daily routine as well and finding that I have actual intersts in life outside of work and my kids! Who knew right??  But seriously do yourself a favor and find something that puts a smile on your face....it does a body good and makes you feel as if you have a sense of belonging.

 

6.  Let it go.

 

Seems to easy right? Well not so much. There are many things that are out of our control. I would sit and literally panic at the thought that I could not fix other people's problems around me. Maybe that is the curse of being a highly empathetic individual, but it caused me a great amount of emotional distress. I had to learn to "let it go."  I cannot be responsible for other's decisions, nor can I allow myself to want to fix everything for them.  Now this takes practice, and I am by no means perfect at it but over the years I have had to do this. I still struggle but I have to take a step back and "let it go."   This goes for tasks as well. As a mom, I often times find myself getting caught up in completing tasks. Do the laundry, do the dishes, fold the laundry, vacuum, dust, clean the toilets, etc. And in that long list nowhere was there mentioned, cuddle with my kids, ride bikes with my son, have a date with my husband.... so to those tasks that did not get done...I let them go. I am not living my life to make sure my house looks pristine at all times. I am living this life to makes memories with my family, and if my kids want to cuddle, guess what I am going to cuddle. And I ultimately feel better after because I know my time was spent wisely.

 

7. Sleep/Rest

 

Um yea. Ok. Let me get right on that, ok? If you breed non sleepers like I do sleep is a valuable commodity and often times like an unattainlable goal. It is no secret that sleep deprivation wreaks havoc on our bodies both physically and mentally, and again for anxious person like myself sleep deprivation just sky rockets my level of worry/stress. So how do we cope? Squeeze it in wherever, whenever you can, and have a routine. I am big on routines and I know that by no later than 1030 at night I am done with the day. I don't force myself to stay up unless absolutely necessary,  so I can get as much sleep as I can for the night. When my daughter was not sleeping at all, I would take my benadryl (yes I take a benadryl at night to help me sleep) early, and be ready to sleep by 830-900 pm range. I maximized my ability to get as much sleep as possible. I am not afraid to admit I need to slow down and take a break. I know myself well enough to know that if I am running on more than empty I begin to feel my anxiety levels peak and it is really hard to come down once they get up to a certain level. So in short, practice pacing yourself, establish routines, and make other small sacrifices if possible to ensure you are getting an adequate amount of rest in your day. I realize this is not always possible, but when you can make this a priority.

 

8.  Unplug from technology.

 

Oh yes!! Being buried in your phone/tablet/tv does nothing good for you. I am just as guilty about this as anyone and am working hard to make changes here, but trust me its a good thing. I find that on days when I barely look at my phone I am much more calm. It may have something to do with not being bombarded with pictures of people's fancy vacations or seemingly perfect lives that make mine seem completely inadequate but the societal pressures that are placed upon us from social media are immense.  Women have pictures of barely naked damn near perfect looking creations shoved in their faces making us feel like that thin mint we just had ruined our whole diet when in reality, we are on a journey to become better and should remember that change does not happen overnight but overtime.  And if you notice when you read through the news online, or watch it, they never talk about anything good. All I get to hear about is a child that is missing, another violent shooting or war in another country. Seriously can a girl just get a break from the negativity in the world? Yep! And I do when I unplug, and guess what my level of stress and anxiety over things I have little to no control over go down significantly. I focus my on family or my hobby or some much needed rest.

 

9.  Talk it out.

 

Now this may seem simple to but it helps. Talking is how we relate to other people, share our feelings, and feel connected with the world around us. There are different ways to "talk it out". Do you have supportive spouse that is a good listener? It would probably be beneficial to talk with him or her. Not only will it help you get out what you need to get out but it will also give your spouse a chance to see life from your perspective and be more supportive. Do you have a best friend? Go grab a coffee and talk. Or if you are struggling to find someone to talk to that you know seek help from a therapist or counselor. There is NO SHAME in doing this. I remember back in college I was really struggling with life in general. I sought out some help but I quit after just one session because it felt "awkward and intrusive".  Now fast forward 10 years later, I realize there is a lot of value in seeking help from a person who has an entire tool bag of things and resources that you can access and they are there to help. I have seen my own patients benefit from therapy  and I am finally no longer afraid to admit that it is a good thing.

 

10.  Seek medical help.

 

Now this is one that people may blast me for but in all seriousness if you feel that your anxiety is becoming too much for you to handle, you are beyond your own coping mechanisms that that point. Make an appointment, take a sick day, get a babysitter and go to the doctor. I don't necessarily advocate for medication but I am not one to deny using them. In fact recently, I reached "critical mass" and immediately went to the doctor. Medication is not a cure all for your anxiety and stress, because despite the fact that the medication may make you feel better over time does not eliminate your source of stress. So don't forget to address those issues when you are more emotionally stable and capable of dealing with them. Again, THERE IS NO SHAME for going this route. It can be temporary to help you through something but if your anxiety/stress is that bad you need more help.

 

 

So there  you have it. There is my list of ways to help cope with anxiety and stress. I am by no means a master at these and let me be quite frank,, there are many days when I really struggle. But I try to utilize my own ways of coping and most often I am able to get through. I am a work in progress and on a journey. I expect there to be road blocks along the way but I am determined to better myself.  I may never fully get rid of my anxiety and "worry wart" tendencies but I know there is a lot I can do to lessen them.

xoxo,
Meghan

 

I want to hear from you. Do you have anything that works for you? I am always up to learning new things to incorporate into my list. Please comment or leave your feedback below!

Recipe: Quinoa Salad

Quinoa Salad Recipe

 

Clean eating can be tricky but here is a simple, easy to prepare and cost effective recipe that is sure to please your taste buds.

 

 

Ingredients:

1 cup dry quinoa cooked ( 1 cup goes a long way when prepared so you will have some left over, follow directions on package to prepare)
Fresh veggies (Pictured above I used cherry tomatoes, red bell pepper, and avacado, but really any sliced veggies will do)
Light Agave Nectar
Lime Juice
Tobassco Brand Green Pepper Sauce
A pinch of salt

Instructions:

1. Prepare dry quinoa according to package instructions. (you can choose to either chill the quinoa or use warm)
2. Cut up your choice of fresh veggies to use
3. Combine cooked quinoa and veggies into a bowl
4. Sprinkle a little salt, agave, lime juice and a bit of the green pepper sauce...stir and enjoy! Season to your preferences of course but the combination of sweet and hot is to die for and the lime juice adds the perfect extra touch for this super healthy meal.

ENJOY!

 

Clean eating does not have to be boring or expensive! This is inexpensive option for a quick go to meal that packs a lot of flavor!

 

 

 

Have a good recipe? Share here with me so I can try it!

xoxo,
Meghan

 







My WHY

For a long time, whenever I was asked even simple questions to describe myself, my beliefs, my values, interests or hobbies I really struggled to provide any answers. One day I realized, I did not even know myself anymore. I would look in the mirror, and I no longer knew who was staring back at me.  I had hard time even thinking of what my favorite color was. I was so caught up in taking care of my family, dealing with insane schedules and zero family and very few friends around, and work that I completely lost myself. I forgot that I was a person with needs, desires, and goals. I remember crying many nights when I would be at home alone again, my son in bed, and always wondering what else I was capable of. The 22 year old my husband met and fell in love disappeared. She lost her desire to set new goals and achieve them, to feel accomplished, and proud. I was also not setting a good example for my son. I may have smiled on the outside, but on the inside I was numb.


Fast forward to my 30th birthday, I worked hard (or at least I thought I did) to "lose weight" so I could fit into a certain outfit for my 30th birthday. I thought that was going to be the solution to "finding myself" again but my efforts to lose weight (yes I will admit I took pills and lost weight) were weak at best. I did not work on changing my bad habits, nor did I work on myself from the inside out. So in essence, the number on the scale changed (not even as much as I wanted it to), I fit into the "goal outift" but the weight came right back on. Another really rough pregnancy and baby girl later, I found myself hitting rock bottom all over again.




30th Birthday celebration with my husband, Ocotber 2012

 

 

I have continued to be really bothered by the fact that I did not feel like I have anything to be proud of. I mean sure I am beyond proud of my family/kids, but there was always the feeling that something was missing.I had no goals, no passion, no drive, nothing. I was and continue to be at a standstill professionally despite many efforts to move forward.  And clearly have not been working my personal health and fitness goals. And then I was at a party for the 4th of July and saw a picture of myself.... and I had a moment.

Seeing this was the moment I realized if I don't change, everything will remain the same.

Its time to change.  No more excuses. No more complaining. Time to get to work.

 

I realized the day I saw that picture that if I did not work to get healthier and finally lose the weight by changing my bad habits, nothing was ever going to change, and I would always feel the same way; stuck, alone, depressed, unmotivated, lack of purpose and unproud.  Not only do I have two very important little people looking up to me, I am a nurse who tells people they need to take care of themselves in order to be around for their family. So why am I not taking my own advice?  Besides, I had committed to running a Spartan race with a friend and needed to get in shape, quickly.

 

I had already been working out with T25 at home for a few weeks, got a horrible cold (yes I got insanely sick during the summer on my only vacation time), and of course was getting frustrated because I was not losing any weight.  But really what was I expecting...... I continued to just eat although I had incorporated Shakeology into my diet along with my whopping 25 minutes of exercise but still was angry everyday when the scale did not do what I wanted it to do. How dare you scale??? I mean I was working out so why wasn't I losing weight? I mean seriously not even a pound would disappear!!!  But I realized the day this photo was taken, that it was because I had not made a conscience decision to change my bad habits. I could not continue to drink wine and eat crackers and cheese every night and expect to lose weight. I mean seriously what was I thinking??  So I sought out the help of my free beachbody coach, Deidra Penrose. And this is where my journey really begins...

 

She invited me to join her challenge group for the 21 Day Fix which helps you to focus more on nutrition along with the exercise component, and in 21 days the hope is that you learn to change your habits and with the help of the challenge group you are forced to be accountable. I decided to make a comitment to myself to just get through the 21 days. During those 21 days, I dove head first into the beachbody lifestyle. Clean eating, pushing play everyday, and learning more about the coaching opportunity. Throughout the 21 days, the more transformation stories I read about, the more coaching success stories I read about something began to happen.... I began to feel like I was a part of something. I began to feel proud. Proud of myself for

•  sticking with something because I am notorious for starting full force and then stopping
•  choosing to get healthier and set a good example for my kids
• Proud that I was working towards a goal....my first ever Spartan race with my friend who said it would fun (it was fun however amazingly challenging)

 I very soon realized that something amazing was happening. I began to feel motivated again, and each day I was working harder and harder, and noticed that my body was changing. I was getting a little better each day at the harder exercises, my strength was getting better, my endurance was getting better... each day saw improvement. And with each physical change, I also noticed some very important emotional and mental changes as well. I was happier, more motivated, more organized, more energized, and more proud. I decided at the end of my first 21 day challenge that I would start again and see what else I could do. My first 21 day challenge ended with the Spartan race, which I did finish by the way, and with a completely new outlook on my life. I feel like belong, I feel like I have a purpose, and I feel like I can do anything.

 

And I discovered my very important WHY....

 

 

 

 

 

My WHY for being the best me I can be

 

 These two little people here are my WHY. My reason to be healthy, my reason to commit to push play everyday, my reason to do whatever it takes to be there for them. 

 

So its officially onward and upward from here on out....

 

I am FOR REAL about being better. I am FOR REAL about getting healthy. I am FOR REAL about rediscovering myself. I am FOR REAL about being the best I can be.

 

I am quite simply...

 

A mom on a mission.

 

xoxo,

Meghan

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome

Welcome!!!! I am so thrilled (and dare I say it, scared) to finally be taking this step... I started a blog! Now you may wonder what makes mine so different from other health and fitness blogs or mommy blogs, the difference is that this is intended to be a place to inspire, motivate, support, and provided thoughtful nonjudgmental insight into the modern day world of being a working mother (who is also working hard to meet her own health and fitness goals).

First, let me take a minute to really introduce myself. I want to create a relationship with my readers and let them know this a place where you can come to connect with other moms working with similar goals in life. I am a 32 year old mom, wife, and nurse originally from a small town in rural Ohio. I attended The Ohio State University, where I earned a BSN in Nursing, and upong graduation started my nursing career at the University of Cincinnati hospital where I worked in a cardiac step-down and intensive care unit. I met my husband in 2005 (at a bar), we were married in October 2007, and now have two small children and are currently residing in the greater Washington, D.C. area living our often times chaotic life one day at a time. I work full time as a nurse and am currently on a journey to achieve a healthier life and of course...lose weight (but I mean seriously who isn't on that journey??). 

This journey started for me because somewhere along the way, I realized that I had begun to settle, and quickly realized that I had completely lost myself. This journey is about so much more than achieving health and fitness goals; it is about rediscovering myself and learning to love the woman I have become over the years.

This blog is a place for me to share that journey and my life as a very busy working mom. Join me and together let's get for real about the journey to a healthier life!

xoxo,
Meghan
A Mom on a Mission...

DC Spartan Sprint 2015, First race ever and I loved it!