I have always been an anxious person or a "worry wart". But it was not until recently that I discovered just how much it is affecting my on a daily basis. With the birth of my daughter, life seemd to come hurling down on top of me and things were happening at such a rapid pace I could not seem to keep up. I felt it piling up, becoming heavier and heavier and then realized I needed to do something about it. So I started small, learning to let certain things go, taking a few minutes to just be alone and regroup but eventually found myself having a full blown panic attack at work. Not good right? Nope not at all. I recognized what was happening and immediately recognized that I had to take drastic action to get this under control. Now, I am a nurse but I am not a mental health specialist. By forcing myself to become more aware of what my triggers are and what helps I have been able to come up with a list of things that help me cope with my own personal anxiety. I hope some of these can help you, if you to suffer from anxiety or are a "worry wart" too.
Meghan's Ten Tips to Battle Anxiety
1. Eat healthier.
Oddly enough some of my anxiety stems from my lack of healthy lifestyle. I have enourmous food guilt when I eat things that are "less than desireable" so the one thing that makes me feel better about this is ..... Tada... Eating healthier. I joined a challenge group that forced me to examine my eating habits and realizing just how bad they were I made some big changes. And now, if I deviate from my healthy eating plan I notice.
2. Exercise.
Seems obvious huh? Well let me tell you, the feeling I get from having a good sweat session is amazing. It helps me feel more focused, energized, accomplished and strong. To go along with #1, this is part of living a healthier lifestyle. Physical acitivty, even just 30 minutes a day, can do wonders for one's mood and outlook on life. And not to mention helping shed those unwanted inches and pounds...another source of anxiety for me.
3. Practice Deep Breathing.
My mantra is "IN 1-2-3, and OUT 1-2-3". It slows evertything down and allows me to take a quick mental vacation from whatever chaos I'm surrounded by at the moment. It's no secret that yoga utilizes breathing techniques to help relieve stress as well as meditation. Now, I am not a committed yogi or nor am I committed to daily meditation, but deep breathing works! I use this for my patients who have anxiety attacks along with imagery to help take them down a few levels. It doesn't always work but it helps.
4. Make a list, and prioritize that list.
As parents, we face daunting to do lists. They are in fact never ending lists that seem to go on and on and on....well you get the idea. But there are some things on those lists that JUST DON'T MATTER. Repeat that, the "JUST DONT' MATTER." Sure you need to have clean clothes and dishes but do you have clean your base boards on a weekly basis? Nope sure don't. Often times I find that sheer act of trying to balance all the responsibilities of being a working mom send me into a hulk like mom rage and ultimately my anxiety and stress shoot through the roof and my family end up paying the price for that. So I make lists. These lists let me literally sort of out what needs to be done and what can wait. Sometimes the things that are on the "do later" list get done and sometimes they don't. But you know what, I ultimately did not panic because my toilet didn't get cleaned last Tuesday.
5. Find a hobby.
Yes I said it. Find a hobby. Something you enjoy doing, and honestly it doesn't matter what it is but find something. I've realized over the years that losing myself to my kids and life did not make me a better mom, it just made me a mom who didn't know herself anymore and didn't find joy in anything. And that's a hard thing to admit, but I admitted it nonetheless. So find something you enjoy doing. An activity that makes you smile, gives you goals, allows you to interact with actual grownups outside of work...you know something fun. I discovered that I really really enjoy playing with and learning how to do makeup. I dove head first. I got excited about it, and found myself facinated with it. Now I am incorporating my health lifestyle habits in my daily routine as well and finding that I have actual intersts in life outside of work and my kids! Who knew right?? But seriously do yourself a favor and find something that puts a smile on your face....it does a body good and makes you feel as if you have a sense of belonging.
6. Let it go.
Seems to easy right? Well not so much. There are many things that are out of our control. I would sit and literally panic at the thought that I could not fix other people's problems around me. Maybe that is the curse of being a highly empathetic individual, but it caused me a great amount of emotional distress. I had to learn to "let it go." I cannot be responsible for other's decisions, nor can I allow myself to want to fix everything for them. Now this takes practice, and I am by no means perfect at it but over the years I have had to do this. I still struggle but I have to take a step back and "let it go." This goes for tasks as well. As a mom, I often times find myself getting caught up in completing tasks. Do the laundry, do the dishes, fold the laundry, vacuum, dust, clean the toilets, etc. And in that long list nowhere was there mentioned, cuddle with my kids, ride bikes with my son, have a date with my husband.... so to those tasks that did not get done...I let them go. I am not living my life to make sure my house looks pristine at all times. I am living this life to makes memories with my family, and if my kids want to cuddle, guess what I am going to cuddle. And I ultimately feel better after because I know my time was spent wisely.
7. Sleep/Rest
Um yea. Ok. Let me get right on that, ok? If you breed non sleepers like I do sleep is a valuable commodity and often times like an unattainlable goal. It is no secret that sleep deprivation wreaks havoc on our bodies both physically and mentally, and again for anxious person like myself sleep deprivation just sky rockets my level of worry/stress. So how do we cope? Squeeze it in wherever, whenever you can, and have a routine. I am big on routines and I know that by no later than 1030 at night I am done with the day. I don't force myself to stay up unless absolutely necessary, so I can get as much sleep as I can for the night. When my daughter was not sleeping at all, I would take my benadryl (yes I take a benadryl at night to help me sleep) early, and be ready to sleep by 830-900 pm range. I maximized my ability to get as much sleep as possible. I am not afraid to admit I need to slow down and take a break. I know myself well enough to know that if I am running on more than empty I begin to feel my anxiety levels peak and it is really hard to come down once they get up to a certain level. So in short, practice pacing yourself, establish routines, and make other small sacrifices if possible to ensure you are getting an adequate amount of rest in your day. I realize this is not always possible, but when you can make this a priority.
8. Unplug from technology.
Oh yes!! Being buried in your phone/tablet/tv does nothing good for you. I am just as guilty about this as anyone and am working hard to make changes here, but trust me its a good thing. I find that on days when I barely look at my phone I am much more calm. It may have something to do with not being bombarded with pictures of people's fancy vacations or seemingly perfect lives that make mine seem completely inadequate but the societal pressures that are placed upon us from social media are immense. Women have pictures of barely naked damn near perfect looking creations shoved in their faces making us feel like that thin mint we just had ruined our whole diet when in reality, we are on a journey to become better and should remember that change does not happen overnight but overtime. And if you notice when you read through the news online, or watch it, they never talk about anything good. All I get to hear about is a child that is missing, another violent shooting or war in another country. Seriously can a girl just get a break from the negativity in the world? Yep! And I do when I unplug, and guess what my level of stress and anxiety over things I have little to no control over go down significantly. I focus my on family or my hobby or some much needed rest.
9. Talk it out.
Now this may seem simple to but it helps. Talking is how we relate to other people, share our feelings, and feel connected with the world around us. There are different ways to "talk it out". Do you have supportive spouse that is a good listener? It would probably be beneficial to talk with him or her. Not only will it help you get out what you need to get out but it will also give your spouse a chance to see life from your perspective and be more supportive. Do you have a best friend? Go grab a coffee and talk. Or if you are struggling to find someone to talk to that you know seek help from a therapist or counselor. There is NO SHAME in doing this. I remember back in college I was really struggling with life in general. I sought out some help but I quit after just one session because it felt "awkward and intrusive". Now fast forward 10 years later, I realize there is a lot of value in seeking help from a person who has an entire tool bag of things and resources that you can access and they are there to help. I have seen my own patients benefit from therapy and I am finally no longer afraid to admit that it is a good thing.
10. Seek medical help.
Now this is one that people may blast me for but in all seriousness if you feel that your anxiety is becoming too much for you to handle, you are beyond your own coping mechanisms that that point. Make an appointment, take a sick day, get a babysitter and go to the doctor. I don't necessarily advocate for medication but I am not one to deny using them. In fact recently, I reached "critical mass" and immediately went to the doctor. Medication is not a cure all for your anxiety and stress, because despite the fact that the medication may make you feel better over time does not eliminate your source of stress. So don't forget to address those issues when you are more emotionally stable and capable of dealing with them. Again, THERE IS NO SHAME for going this route. It can be temporary to help you through something but if your anxiety/stress is that bad you need more help.
So there you have it. There is my list of ways to help cope with anxiety and stress. I am by no means a master at these and let me be quite frank,, there are many days when I really struggle. But I try to utilize my own ways of coping and most often I am able to get through. I am a work in progress and on a journey. I expect there to be road blocks along the way but I am determined to better myself. I may never fully get rid of my anxiety and "worry wart" tendencies but I know there is a lot I can do to lessen them.
xoxo,
Meghan
I want to hear from you. Do you have anything that works for you? I am always up to learning new things to incorporate into my list. Please comment or leave your feedback below!
No comments:
Post a Comment